East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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