she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize