The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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