I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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