I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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