Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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