I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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