chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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