dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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