Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Is it penis luge time yet?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize