It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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