This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
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