i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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