Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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