I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize