I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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