Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
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You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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