its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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