Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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