sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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