The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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