I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize