I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize