why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
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Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
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And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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