That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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