ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
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That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
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I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm having to shit out rocks
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