there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize