but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize