so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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