I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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