dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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