I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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