At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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