Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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