I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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