as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize