why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize