The maid of honor just puked.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
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She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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