they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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