Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize