I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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