Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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