its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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