The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
fuck your aforementioned shoe
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
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so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
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I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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