i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize