I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
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I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
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You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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