Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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