Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize