Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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