also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
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dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another day, another engagement, another cat
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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